15 Strange Early Electronic Handheld Games

Naughty Squirrel
With its cheerful rainbow graphics, Naughty Squirrel is apparently from the gender-bending series of handheld games. Guide the cheerful squirrel through the dark, dark forest, without losing his nut sack. Avoid Disney copyright infringement lawyers.




Redline
Look closely and see if you can tell what's wrong with this game.

Did you find the problem? That's right... there's NO SCREEN.

Please don't tell me that all those controls only affect the small row of LED's at the top of the game. Because that would be the saddest thing of all.




Pucki Monsters
From the odd game shape to the bizarre packaging.… this game can only be described as 'avant garde.' Or maybe 'blatant Pac-Man ripoff.'




Hysteric Mama
Help the hysterical mother find her way through nine levels of big city traffic to her bottle of tranquilizers. She's gone insane from all the beeping and blooping of those damned cheap electronic games her kids keep playing over and over and over.




Blip
This was a popular game when I was growing up, at least in my neighborhood. The game was actually purely mechanical, there was a red light that physically moved back and forth under a dark screen, and your job was to guess which one of three spaces it would land, and by holding down the correct button you would bounce the ball back to your opponent. If I recall correctly it was accompanied by loud grinding noises.




Dataman
Yes, it's a game. I had one.




Im Geisterschloss
Im Geisterschloss. It's fun to say it, it's fun to play it.




Touch Me
One of the more unfortunately named handheld games. This was featured on a very special epsiode of 'The Facts of Life." Actually, apparently this is the originator of the whole 'Simon' series of games, no joke!

(And check out this psychadellic flyer for the game.)




Lil' Genius
Obviously the cheaper version of the popular Little Professor calculator-based handheld game.
Also available in creepy Evil Clown version:






Pythaligoras
This is probably the most soul-crushing of the handheld games. The only enjoyment to be found here is the funny name and even that wears off rather quickly.




Swat Swat the Mosquito
Because *nothing* says entertainment like swatting swatting mosquitos! Perfect for those long Minnesota winters.




Woodman
Fall out of trees. Yell for help. Kill bears with an axe. These are some of the thrilling things you'll do in the game of Woodman.




Gameburger
It's a game! It's a burger! It's lame Simon™ rip-off.




Invisible Alien Neutralizer (IAN)
This seems like less of a game than a handy tool. After all, how else are you supposed to get rid of the invisible aliens that lurk amongst us, manipulating our thoughts and corrupting our precious bodily fluids? Febreeze maybe.




Joyful Game!
Ah, this game distills the essence of handheld gaming into its purest form, joyfullness. Deep down, it's all we really want in a game.



I hope you enjoyed this look at some crazy old games. Many of these images are from handheldmuseum.com. Please visit them for all your handheld needs.